on radio silence

I haven't posted in a week.  I'm not exactly sure why, it was a long, stressful week, and maybe I just wasn't sure how to put it into words.  Maybe I felt forced to be positive, or maybe I panicked a bit when I realized that two whole people were checking in on this, and that sent me reeling: what to say that would be of meaning enough to ask people to read?  Yeah, I put a little unnecessary pressure on myself.

Something strange happened mid-week too.  Mike had his last day of student teaching on Tuesday, and I think we thought that there would be an immediate feeling of relief, like something would click and we'd be back to our old selves as soon as he came home that night.  And even though I am so proud of him for the incredible work he's done this year, and we are thankful that this part of his training is over, I woke up the next morning and felt sad.  The rain and the cold that crept back in to Spring this week probably didn't help, but the sadness surprised me, how it was there as soon as I opened me eyes, how it hung around as I was trying to get out the door, how it sat just a little bit heavy on my chest as I tried to write about it.  I think we built that finale up in our head, so that when it came, and we instantly didn't feel better, we were disappointed in ourselves.

But I know better than to try and force it away, so I said hello to it, accepted that it was still here with us, and moved through the week.  And today was the first day of a week of vacation.  There was sleeping late and catching up and even a mid-afternoon guilt-free nap.  And we feel better.  The healing properties of a well timed nap are not to be underestimated. And a little Billie doesn't hurt either: