on hope

Winter is over, and I am not sad to see it go. It felt longer than usual, snowier, colder, darker.   

rare glimpse of winter looking picturesque, visits to Gloucester and the North Fork

Buds are coming out on branches and through the soil, flowers are back in the farmers market, the kitchen window was actually kept open all day today.  It feels like this is what we were waiting for, just a sign from the world that things were changing and we could too, it all just feels hopeful.  And you know, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things...my ability to relate nearly any moment of my life to a Shawshank quote could be material enough for a short novel.

This morning there was an outing to that foreign place one calls a gym.  And it really did feel foreign.  There was such anxiety just walking into the place, as if everyone in there would turn as I entered, stop what they were doing, and point and stare.  But no one stopped what they were doing.  No one even noticed as I climbed up onto the arc trainer and pedaled away.  No one stared as I huffed my way through the 45 minutes of what used to be routine.  But I left feeling lighter, smiling, proud, and might I say, just a wee bit hopeful.

buds in Union Square