on expecting

When a woman tells me she is "expecting", I can't help but think, "expecting what?".  It just sounds a little vague, like we think we're expecting a baby, but who knows, maybe we're expecting an elephant.  And then I can't help but imagine her in a hospital room cradling a baby elephant, in a "we weren't expecting this!" type of ba-dum-dum cymbal crash gag.  I see it in my head and I laugh every time.  But, since the other person is not seeing the funny reel of images in my head, they only know that they told me they were expecting and I started laughing.

Sometimes I wonder how I have any friends at all.

So now that I'm "expecting", I find myself talking to the little being in there and saying, "I expect you are a baby and not that worm alien who jumps out of the guys stomach with a little mini hat and cane to perform Hello Ma Baby on top of the diner counter in Spaceballs.  But, since I"m not really sure, it would be great if you could just give me a sign either way..."

I'm mainly kidding, but not totally.  It's a pretty strange thing to know you're growing a human but not be able to grasp that since, you know, it's not every day you grow a human.  Kind of sci-fi I tell you.  But pretty awesome too.

Not picking up the Spaceballs reference?: